10 Questions About The Shit Show That Is Brexit

What is going on?


Brexit isn’t falling apart at the seams, so much as it just isn’t happening. There’s no progress, delays and the only thing May ever manages to achieve is to break another promise Leave made. So here are some questions over this mess:

Why the hell are we still leaving?

The pound nose-dived after Brexit, Monarch has already attributed Brexit to the reason it went bust and we’ve managed to negotiate a grand total of zero trade deals. It’s well over a year since we voted to leave and we’ve accomplished nothing and it doesn’t look like it will get better any time soon.

When will Leavers admit that they’re responsible for rising hate crimes?

Hate crimes have risen since Brexit. Every new set of hate crimes data reveals that. Victims of hate crime have linked the vote to why they were attacked. The leave campaign spoke consistently about taking back control of our borders, and about our need to control migration. The referendum was entrenched in anti-migrant sentiment and that cannot be ignored. Little though has been done by politicians to remedy this. They’re largely ignoring the situation. Sticking their fingers in their ears, closing their eyes, humming a tune and pretending everything is okay seems to be the only tactic politicians know for getting through Brexit.

Where the fuck is our £350 million for the NHS?

Rhetorical. We know it was a bus full of bullshit. From now on, wild political promises will be called bus-shit.

Why can’t politicians be held to their promises?

Yeah, there might be a minefield when politicians genuinely can’t meet promises they’ve made but right now we have a situation where politicians can promise to make the sky green and not be held to account for it. Is our culture truly any different from or better than Trump’s US?

Are we really supposed to trust David Davis?

This is the man in charge of Brexit and yet, he’s achieved nothing. He regularly implies the EU are out to stitch Britain up or are handling the negotiations poorly in comparison to himself (these are people he’s meant to be negotiating with), he’s said we will have a deal within two years but has backtracked since it’s been revealed we need a two year transitional period alone. Furthermore, when reports emerged that Davis had tried to forcibly kiss Abbott (an accusation that is tantamount to workplace sexual harassment), it was revealed Davis denied he did so by making misogynistic remarks regarding Abbott’s attractiveness. Abbott regularly receives abuse. This did not happen in a void and still David is the standard of a politician we have in charge of Brexit and remains one of the most powerful men in the UK. David epitomises the clear fact that Brexit is about taking Britain back to a less progressive time, and not about moving us forward.

Does anyone care that we look like idiots?

The world thinks we’re stupid. From Clinton, international newspapers, to people within the EU we all look like fools.

Did we take the country back? Are we still chasing after it? Has it gone? What’s going on? Does France have it?

No wonder the world thinks we’re fools…

Is Donald Trump really going to be our hero? Really?

A big part of the idea that we can survive post EU is that we can rely on a trade deal with the US. Well, the US has its priorities and that will be the much bigger EU. Plus, are we really counting on Donald Trump to save us all? This is a man who is spectacularly bad at business given how often he goes bankrupt, is amoral and has the most chaotic government the US has ever seen. If we get a trade deal with the US, an hour later Trump could tweet he wants out. The US alone can’t make up for the EU, and it is unlikely to even want to try.

When will people admit Remain were right?

We didn’t lie. The UK is struggling and we haven’t even left yet.

Do racists want to watch the country burn so they can stick it to “political correctness”?

I mean, yes, they do. But it’s quite staggering to believe just how pernicious this bigotry runs.

Why should young people pay anything for older people’s mess?

Our generation, and the next generations didn’t vote for this crap. We didn’t want it. It’s older generations choice so why should we get stuck with the debt? We’re already facing paying off the damn banking crisis which was another epic fuck up that we didn’t cause. Young people have walked straight out of their nappies and into debt. Thanks to Brexit, it’s getting even worse.

Expect an update soon when yet more trade deals haven’t been made, hate crime has increased some more and the world has laughed at us just a little harder.

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