Think #MeToo has gone too far? Well, it hasn’t really changed anything.
Since the start of the ‘Me Too’ movement, people have been quick to cry that men’s lives would be ruined by sexual assault allegations. It was believed that coming forward with allegations of criminal activity was unfair to the alleged criminals, and that by revealing a crime may have happened would somehow tarnish the criminal justice system. It’s absolute rubbish.
So desperate are people to shut down survivors that they will do or say anything, no matter how absurd their arguments. They don’t care about reason though. If they did, they wouldn’t be screaming their heads off on Facebook at survivors. They care about enabling rape culture.
It is nonsense to suggest that coming forward with knowledge of assault (you know, a crime) can ruin people’s lives. This line is only ever trotted out when it comes to abuse and/or hate crimes, because these are the crimes where in society, the victims are not valued.
Since the start of Me Too, only Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have faced any investigations by the police despite dozens of men either having had allegations made against them, or openly admitting the acts. Have lives ever been ruined by coming forward with allegations? Roman Polanski and Woody Allen did pretty well afterward. Louis C K has admitted to indecent exposure (a crime) and is back getting comedy gigs. Casey Affleck won an Oscar. Jared Leto managed to land the Joker. Bryan Singer is still getting great gigs despite being sued by a 17 year old boy for rape. R Kelly is still making music despite years of being surrounded by allegations of abuse. And since being accused of assaulting his then wife Amber Heard, Johnny Depp has been given numerous redemption interviews, has been cast in Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them, given the vote of confidence by J K Rowling and has even been the face of a Dior fragrance campaign. And for all of the crying about Brett Kavanaugh’s life being ruined, it’s important to note he wasn’t even standing trial (as any alleged abuser should), he was facing a job interview – a job he wasn’t entitled to but still got. Men’s lives are being ruined? Are they hell.
“It is nonsense to suggest that coming forward with knowledge of assault (you know, a crime) can ruin people’s lives”
And if you don’t think the way we treat survivors isn’t outrageous, imagine this scenario between the police and someone who has been robbed:
Police: Do you have CCTV?
Victim: No, this is my private home.
Police: So there is no evidence that anything happened?
Victim: My possessions are missing, I am a victim, I’m telling you what happened.
Police: Yes, but you’re just one person. How can we go off that?
Victim: Then what happened?
Police: Your things could be missing, you may never have had these possessions – you don’t have any photos that they were here and then gone – you may have moved them, there are many scenarios.
Victim: Why would I lie?
Police: That’s not for us to say. We need proof that someone has done it and would want to do it.
Victim: But somebody did it.
Police: Did you keep your possessions on display?
Victim: Why does that matter? It’s my home.
Police: Did you spend a lot of money? Do you like to shop?
Police: This might have given people the wrong impression. They may have thought you wanted your things taken.
Victim: Why would anyone think that?
Police: Why do you not have CCTV? Or a dog? Do you replace your alarm system each year so it has the best technology to help protect your home?
This is exactly how survivors of abuse are constantly treated, not just in the criminal justice system which is bad enough, but by everyone who thinks it is their place to comment on the matter. Scroll through any Me Too story on social media and you will see hundreds of comments like this. Nothing has changed. And the most frustrating thing is the lingering self-righteousness of people who defend or apologise for abusers has not diminished at all.